Sometimes it is really confusing about how I feel generally. It has been few days I wanted to write and relief the anger I feel within.
Somehow, it is 1st of June and actually I kind of feeling happy and excited with what’s coming next. I am not going to allow my feeling fool me again. I have suffered enough pain and I always avoiding it all this time. Someone has taught me this. I feel happy now. I am happy about how things will work out for me.
I felt accomplish and hopefuls. After chasing the things that I wanted, it is just not what I suppose to have. The fear of loosing is now no longer tickling my heart. I am strong again, I am numb again. I used to hate this numb feeling, but the fact is, this is me. Nothing ever have affects on me, nothing! Now I am back to who I am. I can't believe I said this. But I do remember the memories. I do miss it very much. But I can’t look back and ignore what have happened.
Well, I am not rejecting any possibility in the future. But I’ve to be focus and set my priority right. It is the beginning, it is not too late. Never is too late for anything. Therefore I am looking forward for my future, where it will bring me.
1st June actually celebration of Harvesting Festival in Sarawak and I am here in Libya planting “seeds” for next year harvest festival (Gawai Dayak). I am sure of where I am going now.. I am going to focus to make it real.
Stop all the sadness, and move on… I always have and will do it again. Must stay firm and be strong.
