It was just yesterday that I found peace in myself.
I do not wish the closure end badly. In the end it didn't..
At least I know where I stand. No matter how I have tried..
I can't force the nature, neither to make a friend understand, neither make time turn back and erase the bad tragedy.
If we wish to believe what we believe, everything will be as what we believe. But, sometimes things aren't always as we thought. Therefore, I had it enough. Enough for me to dwell whether I am wrong or not. No more. It is obvious the caused was not really matter anymore.
It was just yesterday, somehow, it hurts... Its really hurts being in the place as a friend, and the otherwise in the other hand.
Somehow, whether it was just yesterday you accepted my friendship, and you dishonor it today.. I couldn't care less. For me you are still a friend although you think it otherwise. You have the freedom to choose what you believe in. I couldn't make you think and decide for you.
No matter. It feel like just yesterday that we are friend.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Prayer
There is a time, I really wanted to be complete.
A complete person with everything he could wish for. Everything that a man would want for himself. The money, the happiness, the life, the love, the opportunity and the power... however, power is not what I really desire.
Its now toward end of May. It will be family celebration I suppose. But I am unable to attend since I have to stay in Libya and work. I do hope the sacrifice will be worth it in the end.
This topic basically a short note, how I wish my fortune will turn and bring all brand new positive life.
This Saturday will be the beginning of everything. I don not know what will be the outcomes, but for the better or worst, I am quite optimistic that the company will further discussion with my M.D. Somehow, I still believe previous fortune teller told me that after month of May, I will have whole new point of view about life. Somehow, most of the thing he said happened, but not really turned out well. Therefore, I couldn't be very trusting fortune teller with hundred percent. But the good thing he make me have hope and driving mind to look forward. I should fight for what I will become or deserves for future. That is what it suppose to mean. I can't just wait and rely on luck. It will be excellent to have destiny and efforts combined together. Be a great achievements.
Finger cross. With pure intention for the future, for well being of family, for career achievement, for time to change...God will be with me. The main priority is to get it going, to get my priority straight.
Pray with me. Pray that I will have the charisma and the capability to convince them with our company capability. Pray for the better. It is time to get things right. Pray that I will make it work smoothly.
A complete person with everything he could wish for. Everything that a man would want for himself. The money, the happiness, the life, the love, the opportunity and the power... however, power is not what I really desire.
Its now toward end of May. It will be family celebration I suppose. But I am unable to attend since I have to stay in Libya and work. I do hope the sacrifice will be worth it in the end.
This topic basically a short note, how I wish my fortune will turn and bring all brand new positive life.
This Saturday will be the beginning of everything. I don not know what will be the outcomes, but for the better or worst, I am quite optimistic that the company will further discussion with my M.D. Somehow, I still believe previous fortune teller told me that after month of May, I will have whole new point of view about life. Somehow, most of the thing he said happened, but not really turned out well. Therefore, I couldn't be very trusting fortune teller with hundred percent. But the good thing he make me have hope and driving mind to look forward. I should fight for what I will become or deserves for future. That is what it suppose to mean. I can't just wait and rely on luck. It will be excellent to have destiny and efforts combined together. Be a great achievements.
Finger cross. With pure intention for the future, for well being of family, for career achievement, for time to change...God will be with me. The main priority is to get it going, to get my priority straight.
Pray with me. Pray that I will have the charisma and the capability to convince them with our company capability. Pray for the better. It is time to get things right. Pray that I will make it work smoothly.
The Mutual Promise
Today the 26th May 2010, I anxiously waiting for your call to reconfirm the time we would meet up.
Even though I know that you never break your promise, but I felt uneasy. I was right from the beginning. My worries were actually valid; you were still considering the appointment we made yesterday. I couldn’t blame you for being in that state of mind. It is very hard to do, but you encourage yourself to faced it. I envy you for what you’ve done today.
Today, or better say it tonight. When I see you with your purple shirt, the favourite jean (my favourite) and the silver shade… all the favourite things I like on you, you appear there at the same place, except I didn’t see the comforting smile. I wish I could run toward you and hug you whole. I guess that is just happening in my mind. I wish I could do that, it shows how much I have missed you for the past few days. But I didn’t even see a sweet natural smile that I saw before…. I know why.
Tears almost flooding my eye lids, I wouldn’t want to show you that scene and spoils everything. I know one step wrong will make thing worse. Therefore, I let the silent moment persist.
There is no sound of our favourite songs. There is no laughter from your notorious havoc… basically today is an empty day, but full of meaning.
I pray for the best… I do not want you to distance yourself too far. It’s enough for me to know that you still care for me. It’s enough for me to spoke out my real mind telling you how much I care for you. It’s not the thirst for a lover love kind of love. But I expressed my love for you is more of care for you. I care for you very much, very very very very much!!! I wish you know how much it is. It doesn’t matter if you care for me the same or less. I just want you to know that I care for you very much. So much that it is not even categorised in any kind of love that I ever knew before. But don’t be mistaken the meaning of this love. It’s not the same kind that we knew all these times. Perhaps I describe it as heavenly love, which I suppose it mean special kind of care.
Now we will walk side by side with the same direction of care for each other. We are more than anything. We are not lover, we are not brother, we are not best friend, but we are something greater than any of those. This “Care” will substitute all the love in any relationship.
Tears begin to flood my eye lids. I guess it is the sense of relief. Now it is purely mutual “care” between us. I don’t know how much, but it is enough. I don’t want anything else; it’s enough to know you have forgiven me.
From now on, promise me, no matter what happened, either whatever we dislike about each other, please be honest toward each other. Perhaps a soul will not complete if the other half doesn’t guide the other.
Even though I know that you never break your promise, but I felt uneasy. I was right from the beginning. My worries were actually valid; you were still considering the appointment we made yesterday. I couldn’t blame you for being in that state of mind. It is very hard to do, but you encourage yourself to faced it. I envy you for what you’ve done today.
Today, or better say it tonight. When I see you with your purple shirt, the favourite jean (my favourite) and the silver shade… all the favourite things I like on you, you appear there at the same place, except I didn’t see the comforting smile. I wish I could run toward you and hug you whole. I guess that is just happening in my mind. I wish I could do that, it shows how much I have missed you for the past few days. But I didn’t even see a sweet natural smile that I saw before…. I know why.
Tears almost flooding my eye lids, I wouldn’t want to show you that scene and spoils everything. I know one step wrong will make thing worse. Therefore, I let the silent moment persist.
There is no sound of our favourite songs. There is no laughter from your notorious havoc… basically today is an empty day, but full of meaning.
I pray for the best… I do not want you to distance yourself too far. It’s enough for me to know that you still care for me. It’s enough for me to spoke out my real mind telling you how much I care for you. It’s not the thirst for a lover love kind of love. But I expressed my love for you is more of care for you. I care for you very much, very very very very much!!! I wish you know how much it is. It doesn’t matter if you care for me the same or less. I just want you to know that I care for you very much. So much that it is not even categorised in any kind of love that I ever knew before. But don’t be mistaken the meaning of this love. It’s not the same kind that we knew all these times. Perhaps I describe it as heavenly love, which I suppose it mean special kind of care.
Now we will walk side by side with the same direction of care for each other. We are more than anything. We are not lover, we are not brother, we are not best friend, but we are something greater than any of those. This “Care” will substitute all the love in any relationship.
Tears begin to flood my eye lids. I guess it is the sense of relief. Now it is purely mutual “care” between us. I don’t know how much, but it is enough. I don’t want anything else; it’s enough to know you have forgiven me.
From now on, promise me, no matter what happened, either whatever we dislike about each other, please be honest toward each other. Perhaps a soul will not complete if the other half doesn’t guide the other.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The other half of Lost soul
On 25th May 2010, Tuesday, is the 4th day of revelation. The sun is almost set, I waiting for your call as I was told or even promised by someone else that he will make you call me. I still doubt that will happen in the first place. I look at the sky and see the sun is quarterly above the horizon. My tear inevitably falls, the mind is cocooning and all the sudden this sad feeling hit me. I couldn’t control my tears; I couldn’t imagine what it will be if you will never call me again.
I wonder why this whole tragedy happened in the first place. But I dare not to make serious accusation. The plot is too synchronised and well directed, just the way there were a director directing it… I know it’s not your intention; perhaps there is someone that is doing this… I still couldn’t believe, what have gone wrong. But I’m sure, the director of this whole scene was caused by own doing.. Regardless how much we want to blame others for it, but I suppose I have to blame myself.
On the beach site where we used to spend our spare time, I sat down with a friend. He is a friend that we just knew very recently. Among all, I do not know why I called him and meet him today. But I guess, he will understand how it feels to be missing someone. Perhaps also he doesn’t really know what is going on between you and me, but that is not the matter. I am so innocent that I thought that this dramatic personal matter were just keep among each individual hearts, but it was in fact the other way. I am clueless, but all are aware.
This friend and I were talking mostly. He quietly listens to the whole story. With a very patients heart he only listens, overall being emphatic to what he heard. I trust he could have been stop me but he didn’t. I really appreciate it. Then I know, this friend is honest and sincere. Otherwise, I would be just a laughs.
I was pretty hesitate, worry, wondering if you would not answer my call today. Thank God that you did. It’s like a whole new sunrise at the time I hear you voice, time stood still for a second. My life seems to be brightening even though the sun is setting. I am very grateful. My messed up brain finally put a fuss stop against all the questions mark. Your voice totally changed my tearing heart in a split second when you agreed to meet up tomorrow. I finally can smile again.
Life is moving forward again. I am very grateful I do not loose you entirely. I know that now, I will not risk anything in future. I will do anything to avoid loosing you. My love to you is far beyond anything that anyone could describe. Today I know that this love is not meant to be broken. Today I know that nothing could replace you. I will not risk it to be in the same situation anymore. No even I know why this love that is too great, even greater than me.
I guess it is another half of my heart. Without the other half, I couldn’t have survived this dark period. This love is unknown, not in any category of love that I ever knew. Perhaps it is the soul, oh, perhaps it is the soul!! It’s the other half that was lost all these years.
p/s: Read my blog at http://goldfishinpond.blogspot.com/
I wonder why this whole tragedy happened in the first place. But I dare not to make serious accusation. The plot is too synchronised and well directed, just the way there were a director directing it… I know it’s not your intention; perhaps there is someone that is doing this… I still couldn’t believe, what have gone wrong. But I’m sure, the director of this whole scene was caused by own doing.. Regardless how much we want to blame others for it, but I suppose I have to blame myself.
On the beach site where we used to spend our spare time, I sat down with a friend. He is a friend that we just knew very recently. Among all, I do not know why I called him and meet him today. But I guess, he will understand how it feels to be missing someone. Perhaps also he doesn’t really know what is going on between you and me, but that is not the matter. I am so innocent that I thought that this dramatic personal matter were just keep among each individual hearts, but it was in fact the other way. I am clueless, but all are aware.
This friend and I were talking mostly. He quietly listens to the whole story. With a very patients heart he only listens, overall being emphatic to what he heard. I trust he could have been stop me but he didn’t. I really appreciate it. Then I know, this friend is honest and sincere. Otherwise, I would be just a laughs.
I was pretty hesitate, worry, wondering if you would not answer my call today. Thank God that you did. It’s like a whole new sunrise at the time I hear you voice, time stood still for a second. My life seems to be brightening even though the sun is setting. I am very grateful. My messed up brain finally put a fuss stop against all the questions mark. Your voice totally changed my tearing heart in a split second when you agreed to meet up tomorrow. I finally can smile again.
Life is moving forward again. I am very grateful I do not loose you entirely. I know that now, I will not risk anything in future. I will do anything to avoid loosing you. My love to you is far beyond anything that anyone could describe. Today I know that this love is not meant to be broken. Today I know that nothing could replace you. I will not risk it to be in the same situation anymore. No even I know why this love that is too great, even greater than me.
I guess it is another half of my heart. Without the other half, I couldn’t have survived this dark period. This love is unknown, not in any category of love that I ever knew. Perhaps it is the soul, oh, perhaps it is the soul!! It’s the other half that was lost all these years.
p/s: Read my blog at http://goldfishinpond.blog
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
We are the Raison d'etre of this Folie à deux
Today, a friend have occupied my mind with all the new words that I never learn before.
I am grateful for what he did. I feel little sense of reliefs from the stress that jammed all over my thought.
As much I tried to make myself busy I still couldn't get rid of one thing .... it is just keep nagging my head. But later, John did sent me a word which describe it plain and simple. It is the "Raison d'etre". Which mean that Reason of being, Reason for Living, Purpose. It really would describe this mixed emotions that I have at the moment.
Well then, I later think it over again and again... as much as I try not to make this life so much drama... the more it becomes... It is simple because of another words that John describes to me. The word of "Folie à deux". From the French for "a madness shared by two".
Life is always a reality stage, where drama is played in our daily routine.. But what really amazed me, whether this is just my life that seems to be so dramatic and fulls of silliness... or others really faced the similar days. Well, I know there is one of them that is basically living in the fantasy of fairytale. We shared the similar point of view... But I would like to keep my life more positive... I still wanted to have hope in it... It keeps me moving on, although others would think the opposite.
Somehow, I try... this life is always the "Raison d'etre".
P/s: you all may refer the meaning of the above in :
I am grateful for what he did. I feel little sense of reliefs from the stress that jammed all over my thought.
As much I tried to make myself busy I still couldn't get rid of one thing .... it is just keep nagging my head. But later, John did sent me a word which describe it plain and simple. It is the "Raison d'etre". Which mean that Reason of being, Reason for Living, Purpose. It really would describe this mixed emotions that I have at the moment.
Well then, I later think it over again and again... as much as I try not to make this life so much drama... the more it becomes... It is simple because of another words that John describes to me. The word of "Folie à deux". From the French for "a madness shared by two".
Life is always a reality stage, where drama is played in our daily routine.. But what really amazed me, whether this is just my life that seems to be so dramatic and fulls of silliness... or others really faced the similar days. Well, I know there is one of them that is basically living in the fantasy of fairytale. We shared the similar point of view... But I would like to keep my life more positive... I still wanted to have hope in it... It keeps me moving on, although others would think the opposite.
Somehow, I try... this life is always the "Raison d'etre".
P/s: you all may refer the meaning of the above in :
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folie_%C3%A0_deux
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raison_d%27etre
Monday, May 24, 2010
You missout something
You said it is beautiful thing when you missed me... or it is just my heart that comforting myself, perhaps you meant it otherwise....
I told you that I am in danger, and you only asked one word.... When I call you back this morning, you did not answer... But then later you sent me message and comfort me not to worry...
Does that really waive all your worries...? I do not know. Instead, your friend would have immediately asked me about it.. and he said what have happened?... But don't you want to know what was really happened? Hear it first hand from me? Or perhaps it was not important at all.... I guess, I live or die, you would not know it if you are not interested to hear from me.
You said you can't face it, yet we are just another individual to each other... why can't you face the fact and then still hiding behind that curtain and shield off the real feeling you have? Isn't we supposes to spend it together while we still can and make it the most prettiest moment of our life?
I spent the whole day try to make myself busy... but every second in my conscious mind I thought of you.... No doubt I can move on with my daily life, but what will it bring for me without you to share my happy or sad days? I was in that kind of life before I meet you, the kind of life that nothing is interesting because none to share with..... now I am back to where I came from, turning back to the most boring years in my life.... why you have to take our happiness away and left me alone...?
But it is a day that I learns to be left behind. Today that I learned to remember you from the our songs... Today that I learned living without you is just another day.... breathing but not alive. Perhaps If I still have you in my heart... it could have make big different although it is away half of the universe distances. Your love would make me strong, you smile would lift my heart alive... your words would inspires me...
What else that I could do without you? Life is just another empty shell that looks beautiful after it die. They probably will see the smiles on my face, they probably will see my courage during the days.... but they will never know how much I am struggle to smile, struggle to be brave enough to walk onward...
whatever, wherever, whenever, however... you have miss-out something...you think it too short and do not look it forward.... you are afraid of the direction that you are already stepped your feet in... you are afraid to admit the reality... you are forgetting that the only reason I am still standing strong is because of you. Because, for you I still have hope.
I told you that I am in danger, and you only asked one word.... When I call you back this morning, you did not answer... But then later you sent me message and comfort me not to worry...
Does that really waive all your worries...? I do not know. Instead, your friend would have immediately asked me about it.. and he said what have happened?... But don't you want to know what was really happened? Hear it first hand from me? Or perhaps it was not important at all.... I guess, I live or die, you would not know it if you are not interested to hear from me.
You said you can't face it, yet we are just another individual to each other... why can't you face the fact and then still hiding behind that curtain and shield off the real feeling you have? Isn't we supposes to spend it together while we still can and make it the most prettiest moment of our life?
I spent the whole day try to make myself busy... but every second in my conscious mind I thought of you.... No doubt I can move on with my daily life, but what will it bring for me without you to share my happy or sad days? I was in that kind of life before I meet you, the kind of life that nothing is interesting because none to share with..... now I am back to where I came from, turning back to the most boring years in my life.... why you have to take our happiness away and left me alone...?
But it is a day that I learns to be left behind. Today that I learned to remember you from the our songs... Today that I learned living without you is just another day.... breathing but not alive. Perhaps If I still have you in my heart... it could have make big different although it is away half of the universe distances. Your love would make me strong, you smile would lift my heart alive... your words would inspires me...
What else that I could do without you? Life is just another empty shell that looks beautiful after it die. They probably will see the smiles on my face, they probably will see my courage during the days.... but they will never know how much I am struggle to smile, struggle to be brave enough to walk onward...
whatever, wherever, whenever, however... you have miss-out something...you think it too short and do not look it forward.... you are afraid of the direction that you are already stepped your feet in... you are afraid to admit the reality... you are forgetting that the only reason I am still standing strong is because of you. Because, for you I still have hope.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
My Angel, don't leave me behind.
After two solid days now since Friday evening 21st May 2010, it is time to stand on the ground and accept the reality that I am finally entirely rejected and abandon with hollow empty heart.
However, I couldn’t understand why such excuses are still valid in this modern day. I am no longer a child, yet I am not senile enough to understand the fact.
It is outrageous, yet it is so disappointed with the excuses you give. I couldn’t believe this is really happen, especially at this crucial moment toward the line where I am still unsure of my own existences in Libya. But, how could you straight away jump into conclusion and believe that I am for sure will leave this place and not going to stay? Have you no faith at all that I probably will still be around and be with you?
I am working hard yet very hard to ensure my survivals in Libya. I even willing to let go of everything I have just to know you have the optimistic mind and believe that I will stay longer.
I know nothing will last forever on earth. But at least I have faith that my love is not just a word. At least I know now, what you have said to me before is nothing more than just “words”. How could you…? How could you…?
Even if I am leaving very very soon, but that doesn’t mean that you have to leave me without saying farewell, without seeing my face, without allow me to have that last smiles.
I am very much heartbroken when you leave me alone in the crowd, but how could you leave me in this swollen seas of drunken love?
You said you will never break my heart. You will not hurt me. You could not forget about me. But yet, you already did. You have forgotten me even while I am still here. While I need you the most, you abandon me..?
I know we are not lover, we are not brother, we are nothing related in blood. But what I had for the past months was really the happiest moment in my life. Thank you for giving me that happy moment, I will never forget. Not even my closest brother will able to cure this wounded scar.
Regardless all the fight we had, all the sadness we faced. We used to get over it without a single question. But why you couldn’t accept the fact that I need you to say farewell and to give me the smile that I always missed?
You are not a lover, you are not a brother, you are not a friend… but you are my angel.
I tried to hold my tear while I write this, but thousand tears will not replace this sadness that sting right through the vein of my broken heart. With this small note that I am capable of writing, I hope you will find peace in your heart.
I pray that you will at least have a piece of empathy when you read this. A piece of heart that still alive feeling this pain. The tears that you always wanted.
Am I never meant anything in your life? What about all the words that you used to said?
Probably it is easy for you to leave without saying a word. Probably it is easier for you to forget….
If we are just nothing to each other, why must I feel this tearing heartache? Do you feel the same? If you do, why would you do this to us? Don’t you know you mean a whole to me?
Life isn’t fair. I know it is never been fair. But at least, we can be fair to each other. Why must we treat ourselves unfair just the way this world treated us? Why must we be apart just the way this world wanted us to be? Why can’t I be in your heart and remain untouched? Why must it be wounded and bleeds the last tears I have?
There isn’t, and never was anyone ever gives me a perfect shadow in this life just like you did. I don’t care what people think or says. You have found the last piece of puzzle in my heart, and now you taking it away.?!! How dare you…!
Please come back to me, please hold my hand,
Please let me shed tear on your shoulder, lend me you heart to have comforts…. Please make this moment the prettiest while we still can…
I love you my angel…please answer my prayer..
However, I couldn’t understand why such excuses are still valid in this modern day. I am no longer a child, yet I am not senile enough to understand the fact.
It is outrageous, yet it is so disappointed with the excuses you give. I couldn’t believe this is really happen, especially at this crucial moment toward the line where I am still unsure of my own existences in Libya. But, how could you straight away jump into conclusion and believe that I am for sure will leave this place and not going to stay? Have you no faith at all that I probably will still be around and be with you?I am working hard yet very hard to ensure my survivals in Libya. I even willing to let go of everything I have just to know you have the optimistic mind and believe that I will stay longer.
I know nothing will last forever on earth. But at least I have faith that my love is not just a word. At least I know now, what you have said to me before is nothing more than just “words”. How could you…? How could you…?
Even if I am leaving very very soon, but that doesn’t mean that you have to leave me without saying farewell, without seeing my face, without allow me to have that last smiles.
I am very much heartbroken when you leave me alone in the crowd, but how could you leave me in this swollen seas of drunken love?
You said you will never break my heart. You will not hurt me. You could not forget about me. But yet, you already did. You have forgotten me even while I am still here. While I need you the most, you abandon me..?
I know we are not lover, we are not brother, we are nothing related in blood. But what I had for the past months was really the happiest moment in my life. Thank you for giving me that happy moment, I will never forget. Not even my closest brother will able to cure this wounded scar.
Regardless all the fight we had, all the sadness we faced. We used to get over it without a single question. But why you couldn’t accept the fact that I need you to say farewell and to give me the smile that I always missed?
You are not a lover, you are not a brother, you are not a friend… but you are my angel.
I tried to hold my tear while I write this, but thousand tears will not replace this sadness that sting right through the vein of my broken heart. With this small note that I am capable of writing, I hope you will find peace in your heart.
I pray that you will at least have a piece of empathy when you read this. A piece of heart that still alive feeling this pain. The tears that you always wanted.
Am I never meant anything in your life? What about all the words that you used to said?
Probably it is easy for you to leave without saying a word. Probably it is easier for you to forget….
If we are just nothing to each other, why must I feel this tearing heartache? Do you feel the same? If you do, why would you do this to us? Don’t you know you mean a whole to me?
Life isn’t fair. I know it is never been fair. But at least, we can be fair to each other. Why must we treat ourselves unfair just the way this world treated us? Why must we be apart just the way this world wanted us to be? Why can’t I be in your heart and remain untouched? Why must it be wounded and bleeds the last tears I have?
There isn’t, and never was anyone ever gives me a perfect shadow in this life just like you did. I don’t care what people think or says. You have found the last piece of puzzle in my heart, and now you taking it away.?!! How dare you…!Please come back to me, please hold my hand,
Please let me shed tear on your shoulder, lend me you heart to have comforts…. Please make this moment the prettiest while we still can…
I love you my angel…please answer my prayer..
FB 2010: Set Him Free
If you love someone,
Set them free,
If you care for someone,
Let them be free,
Only if they feel the same,
They will come back to you.
Then that will be very lovely to have them with you.
The choices is always with them.
No matter how much you love them,
Its the love itself will define which direction it will go forward.
No matter the love is for a friend, brother or a lover.
I will let them free to choose what they want in life.
All I hope is to know they are happy and having good life.
If the love is for a friend,
I will be very happy enough.
If the love is for a brother,
I can live with it.
If the love is for a lover,
I am very grateful for it.
But I couldn't live without love.
Just don't abandon me with emptiness.
Because it will be really dark like no sun will rise in the morning.
If you love someone, set them free.
Set them free,
If you care for someone,
Let them be free,
Only if they feel the same,
They will come back to you.
Then that will be very lovely to have them with you.
The choices is always with them.
No matter how much you love them,
Its the love itself will define which direction it will go forward.
No matter the love is for a friend, brother or a lover.
I will let them free to choose what they want in life.
All I hope is to know they are happy and having good life.
If the love is for a friend,
I will be very happy enough.
If the love is for a brother,
I can live with it.
If the love is for a lover,
I am very grateful for it.
But I couldn't live without love.
Just don't abandon me with emptiness.
Because it will be really dark like no sun will rise in the morning.
If you love someone, set them free.
FB 2010: Please Forgive me.
Will I be remain unforgiven for the mistake that I have done? I wouldn't know where it will bring me. I wish I know what to do to make you smile again. Perhaps it is what I did that caused this upon myself and loosing the most precious person I ever really love this much...
Or perhaps it is just me who being crazy. But how should I explain this craziness? What make me this idiotic and do something that is forbidden. I wish I know how to make you happy. I wish I know...
At this moment, I am really out of words to tale the story. My feeling is mixed up with all the worry and uneasiness of being such chaotic in the beginning.
If I say I regretted it will it still not too late for me to have you back? What should I do to make this hurts go away and start anew.
I am too selfish and ego to see it all, I wish to take it back but it couldn't be undone.
This unforgiven wrong will destroy me and it will never go away if you leave me now... I am sorry for being very stubborn. I am sorry for everything.
Or perhaps it is just me who being crazy. But how should I explain this craziness? What make me this idiotic and do something that is forbidden. I wish I know how to make you happy. I wish I know...
At this moment, I am really out of words to tale the story. My feeling is mixed up with all the worry and uneasiness of being such chaotic in the beginning.
If I say I regretted it will it still not too late for me to have you back? What should I do to make this hurts go away and start anew.
I am too selfish and ego to see it all, I wish to take it back but it couldn't be undone.
This unforgiven wrong will destroy me and it will never go away if you leave me now... I am sorry for being very stubborn. I am sorry for everything.
FB 2010: I wish I could undone this hurt
22/05/2010 at 11:33pm |
Just like Christina Aguilera's song said... I wish I could take this pain away.. I wish I already have knew what I know today... I would hold you in my arm and wishing the pain to go away...
There is nothing I will not do to hear you voice again, to see your smile, to hold your hand...
I am sorry for causing you such pain. I know it is me; somehow I have caused you all those troubles and pains.
Please believe me that you are not alone; there is nothing I wish more, other than to know that you are happy and having good life.
I am sorry for blaming you for things that I caused upon myself. I wish that time could be turn back and see your smiles instead of this sadness...
How much I wish I could freeze time and take away all the sadness that have caused you pain. I wish I could pause it all and replace all the hurtful moment with cheerful moment…If I could colour your life with all that happiness, I will do. I wish I could.... please forgive me.
Regardless if it will take all my happiness, no matter how much hurt it will caused me, I will rather the pain is suffer by me instead of making you hurt. There are no words to tales how much I care, how much it kills me to see you walk away and not looking back yesterday. I wish you would turn back and smiles.
Probably by saying it, it only is just words, but if I could let you see inside me, I would show it how much I couldn't bear the tears drop from your eyes. How much I wish I could pamper you while you are down, how much I wish I can be there when you need someone… how much I wish I could fill in the emptiness when you are alone, how much I wish I could be the one that make you smile and happy always… I wish for many things that I want for you, but I don’t know how to give it.
Every time, it killing me inside to see you down… every minute I wish to know how you doing… I wish you are doing well… I wish you are happy and never hurts.. it sound crazy, but that is how crazy I am when its concerning you…
Among all, above all, please know that you are always in my heart… and when you feel lonely, or sad or hurts, just be strong and I want you to know that I will be always there in your heart no matter it have take another galaxy to reach you.
Please forgive me for what I have caused you…. Please know that you are not alone…. Because I am willing to let go of my own happiness if it could be exchanges for your happiness….
Please say something….
Just like Christina Aguilera's song said... I wish I could take this pain away.. I wish I already have knew what I know today... I would hold you in my arm and wishing the pain to go away...
There is nothing I will not do to hear you voice again, to see your smile, to hold your hand...
I am sorry for causing you such pain. I know it is me; somehow I have caused you all those troubles and pains.
Please believe me that you are not alone; there is nothing I wish more, other than to know that you are happy and having good life.
I am sorry for blaming you for things that I caused upon myself. I wish that time could be turn back and see your smiles instead of this sadness...
How much I wish I could freeze time and take away all the sadness that have caused you pain. I wish I could pause it all and replace all the hurtful moment with cheerful moment…If I could colour your life with all that happiness, I will do. I wish I could.... please forgive me.
Regardless if it will take all my happiness, no matter how much hurt it will caused me, I will rather the pain is suffer by me instead of making you hurt. There are no words to tales how much I care, how much it kills me to see you walk away and not looking back yesterday. I wish you would turn back and smiles.
Probably by saying it, it only is just words, but if I could let you see inside me, I would show it how much I couldn't bear the tears drop from your eyes. How much I wish I could pamper you while you are down, how much I wish I can be there when you need someone… how much I wish I could fill in the emptiness when you are alone, how much I wish I could be the one that make you smile and happy always… I wish for many things that I want for you, but I don’t know how to give it.
Every time, it killing me inside to see you down… every minute I wish to know how you doing… I wish you are doing well… I wish you are happy and never hurts.. it sound crazy, but that is how crazy I am when its concerning you…
Among all, above all, please know that you are always in my heart… and when you feel lonely, or sad or hurts, just be strong and I want you to know that I will be always there in your heart no matter it have take another galaxy to reach you.
Please forgive me for what I have caused you…. Please know that you are not alone…. Because I am willing to let go of my own happiness if it could be exchanges for your happiness….
Please say something….
FB 2010: Perhaps You will know...
22/05/2010 at 5:59pm |
You said you are sorry,
You said you know how it feels.
You said you don't know it will hurt,
But you see the wound is bleeding.
Perhaps you will know..
Perhaps you already knew..
Perhaps you are just ignorant..
Perhaps it was intended..
I said I hate you, most of the time I do. But why must every time I love you even more. Perhaps you already know how much I try to avoid the heartbreaking, then why should you deliberately mocking me? Perhaps you enjoy making me hurt to make yourself feel better...
You have released too much hate that I avoid all these years... The hate that I never knew, the jealousy that I do not desire..
Yet, what should I do? My mind is now too messy to think it straight. It is filled with hate that I do not know where it came from..
I feel betrayed from the least expected person in this whole incident. Don't I know what is hiding behind those entire apologies? Or I should just be a dummy and smile back and act nothing happened?
There is a moment I meant to say forever good bye. When you said good bye, I will just fly away as far as I could. I will never actually say "Good bye" unless it will be the end of my life....
My heart is full of rage; it is filled with red blood that bleeds within...
Don't I know it when there is no word spoken? Or perhaps you do not know how to say it? No matter how much I hate you, you will never know how much I love you...
I am speechless; I have nothing left to say. I don't know how to explain to make you understand how much it hurts. Perhaps I am the fool. Yes, I am that fool who wait for you..
Perhaps you will know.
But you never really understand it.
Tell me, what should I do? Was that the way you wish me to go away? Did you want it to be the last? If you only waiting for my forgiveness all these time do know that I always forgive you. If that is what you waiting for, now please let me know if I am a burden all these times?
Perhaps it’s about time I know… You said I always had wrong presumption. I always misunderstood. I wish I could understand you better… or perhaps you do not wish it the way I do..
I am sorry for being such huge burden in your life. I am sorry for stopping your life. I am sorry for making your life more complicated…. Do I need to apologise further? Please let me know what I did wrong.
My mind tells me to go away, but my heart can’t let go. Only if I knew, perhaps I will know what to do.
Probably you think this is just another fun note to read. For me, it is another unbearable day in my life. Maybe it will cheer your life, but it really kills me inside. If that is what you wish, I have nothing else to say.
Perhaps you should know… I always waiting for your calls at each time I miss you… I always waiting but most of the time, I have to make a call first. It is because I know that you will not call unless you promised it earlier. Yesterday, today, still I am waiting for your call…and perhaps you do not know, I am still waiting…
Maybe, you do not know…. But I am sure of one thing, you will try to make me happy. However, I will never understand why is it necessary to make me feel happy? Does it come from a sincere intentions? I will never know...
You said you know how it feels.
You said you don't know it will hurt,
But you see the wound is bleeding.
Perhaps you will know..
Perhaps you already knew..
Perhaps you are just ignorant..
Perhaps it was intended..
I said I hate you, most of the time I do. But why must every time I love you even more. Perhaps you already know how much I try to avoid the heartbreaking, then why should you deliberately mocking me? Perhaps you enjoy making me hurt to make yourself feel better...
You have released too much hate that I avoid all these years... The hate that I never knew, the jealousy that I do not desire..
Yet, what should I do? My mind is now too messy to think it straight. It is filled with hate that I do not know where it came from..
I feel betrayed from the least expected person in this whole incident. Don't I know what is hiding behind those entire apologies? Or I should just be a dummy and smile back and act nothing happened?
There is a moment I meant to say forever good bye. When you said good bye, I will just fly away as far as I could. I will never actually say "Good bye" unless it will be the end of my life....
My heart is full of rage; it is filled with red blood that bleeds within...
Don't I know it when there is no word spoken? Or perhaps you do not know how to say it? No matter how much I hate you, you will never know how much I love you...
I am speechless; I have nothing left to say. I don't know how to explain to make you understand how much it hurts. Perhaps I am the fool. Yes, I am that fool who wait for you..
Perhaps you will know.
But you never really understand it.
Tell me, what should I do? Was that the way you wish me to go away? Did you want it to be the last? If you only waiting for my forgiveness all these time do know that I always forgive you. If that is what you waiting for, now please let me know if I am a burden all these times?
Perhaps it’s about time I know… You said I always had wrong presumption. I always misunderstood. I wish I could understand you better… or perhaps you do not wish it the way I do..
I am sorry for being such huge burden in your life. I am sorry for stopping your life. I am sorry for making your life more complicated…. Do I need to apologise further? Please let me know what I did wrong.
My mind tells me to go away, but my heart can’t let go. Only if I knew, perhaps I will know what to do.
Probably you think this is just another fun note to read. For me, it is another unbearable day in my life. Maybe it will cheer your life, but it really kills me inside. If that is what you wish, I have nothing else to say.
Perhaps you should know… I always waiting for your calls at each time I miss you… I always waiting but most of the time, I have to make a call first. It is because I know that you will not call unless you promised it earlier. Yesterday, today, still I am waiting for your call…and perhaps you do not know, I am still waiting…
Maybe, you do not know…. But I am sure of one thing, you will try to make me happy. However, I will never understand why is it necessary to make me feel happy? Does it come from a sincere intentions? I will never know...
FB 2010: Smile while you can..
22/05/2010 @ 4:56pm
Perhaps smile is not always true..
Perhaps when you tell me to be on your side is not always true...
Perhaps those words are not always true..
Perhaps your smiles was meant for laugthing...
Perhaps it was just to feel comfort in your heart..
Perhaps you would think that the others will not know what is intended..
Perhaps the smile is to avoid everything...
Smile,
When I smile, I try the most honest smile I can give...
When I smile, I did not expect you to return anything...
When I smile, I do want to make you cheer up...
When i smile, It is really meant for you...
However, why?
Why did smiles always comes with lies...
Why does smile must be attended with hideous intention..
why must you violate the beauty of smile.?
Why must you reply a smile with a hidden betrayal...?
When I smile,
Usually, it is an affection of happiness..
Usually, it is refelcting how much I care..
Usually, its really to show you how much I love...
Usually, it is an honest smiles...
But I can't lie...
The lie that I avoid all this times keep on nagging my life...
Usually smile that I see always meant for something else...
I do not see that true smile most of the time...why?
Do I not deserve a real smile..?
Do I not capable of giving smile...?
Should I just ignore to smile..?
Should I smile while I can?
It seems like smilling is no longer make any different in the meaningful relationship..
Seems like smilling is just another hypocracy...
Seems like smilling is just another sheild to hide a bleeding heart..
Seems like smilling is no longer valid...
what should I do with smiles?
Perhaps when you tell me to be on your side is not always true...
Perhaps those words are not always true..
Perhaps your smiles was meant for laugthing...
Perhaps it was just to feel comfort in your heart..
Perhaps you would think that the others will not know what is intended..
Perhaps the smile is to avoid everything...
Smile,
When I smile, I try the most honest smile I can give...
When I smile, I did not expect you to return anything...
When I smile, I do want to make you cheer up...
When i smile, It is really meant for you...
However, why?
Why did smiles always comes with lies...
Why does smile must be attended with hideous intention..
why must you violate the beauty of smile.?
Why must you reply a smile with a hidden betrayal...?
When I smile,
Usually, it is an affection of happiness..
Usually, it is refelcting how much I care..
Usually, its really to show you how much I love...
Usually, it is an honest smiles...
But I can't lie...
The lie that I avoid all this times keep on nagging my life...
Usually smile that I see always meant for something else...
I do not see that true smile most of the time...why?
Do I not deserve a real smile..?
Do I not capable of giving smile...?
Should I just ignore to smile..?
Should I smile while I can?
It seems like smilling is no longer make any different in the meaningful relationship..
Seems like smilling is just another hypocracy...
Seems like smilling is just another sheild to hide a bleeding heart..
Seems like smilling is no longer valid...
what should I do with smiles?
FB 2010: When it is least expected.
Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 1:47am
When it is least expected I found you.
It really make my life fills with bitter sweet memories.
I hate you much yet I love you greater.
I don't know how to tell you that I miss you every single minutes,
Yet I do not know how it will be once I am far away.
Will shedding tears change all this fact.
I ponder and wishing....
I pray that you will be good,
I pray that you will grow up and be a decent person,
i pray that you will have every dream that you always wanted,
I pray that you will be happy, loved and well taken care by your love ones,
I pray that you will be success,
But most of all, I pray you will remember me.
That you will be the same wherever, whenever,
You will be forever the person that ever touch me so deep.
The person that I ever wanted to be with.
I angry with every single minutes that I have remains,
Just to know that I have the last few more days to be fills with all memories of your eyes and smile..
I am sorry if I ever hurts you,
I am sorry if I ever leave you.
Its not what I want, at least it is not something that I can avoid either.
No matter millions tear drops will not cure this wound.
But forever it will visible and make a mark in my heart.
I wish i have everything, but I would give it up if I can have you.
I wish i could, but Life isn't so simple.
Be happy my love,
Take care my darling,
May God bless you with all the wonderful things in your life.
Be careful my dear,
I will not be around if you sad or hurt.
Be wise my baby,
I will not be around to remind you of your mistake.
Most of all,
remember me every time you see the sunset.
Don't be naughty, be good and be nice...
I would trade all words just to know how do you do, where you are, whether you happy....
Remember me always.....
When it is least expected I found you.
It really make my life fills with bitter sweet memories.
I hate you much yet I love you greater.
I don't know how to tell you that I miss you every single minutes,
Yet I do not know how it will be once I am far away.
Will shedding tears change all this fact.
I ponder and wishing....
I pray that you will be good,
I pray that you will grow up and be a decent person,
i pray that you will have every dream that you always wanted,
I pray that you will be happy, loved and well taken care by your love ones,
I pray that you will be success,
But most of all, I pray you will remember me.
That you will be the same wherever, whenever,
You will be forever the person that ever touch me so deep.
The person that I ever wanted to be with.
I angry with every single minutes that I have remains,
Just to know that I have the last few more days to be fills with all memories of your eyes and smile..
I am sorry if I ever hurts you,
I am sorry if I ever leave you.
Its not what I want, at least it is not something that I can avoid either.
No matter millions tear drops will not cure this wound.
But forever it will visible and make a mark in my heart.
I wish i have everything, but I would give it up if I can have you.
I wish i could, but Life isn't so simple.
Be happy my love,
Take care my darling,
May God bless you with all the wonderful things in your life.
Be careful my dear,
I will not be around if you sad or hurt.
Be wise my baby,
I will not be around to remind you of your mistake.
Most of all,
remember me every time you see the sunset.
Don't be naughty, be good and be nice...
I would trade all words just to know how do you do, where you are, whether you happy....
Remember me always.....
comedy Fb 2010: Love Square for the Bimbo (Chapter 3)
Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 1:31pm
The Love That I will Never have
In the end of the day, everything seems to be unable to resolves as Bimbo wanted it to be.
Now its become really clear to him that is bad enough the Love Square appear in his life. The time-frame remaining just only two or three month certainly not providing sufficient period to sustains the real colour of love he expects.
As for That Special someone, do not worry about what is next in this love square drama. Do not feel bad about what have happened. We shall thankful for what have happened and hopefully it will be the best moment of love that we will never have in our love life.
Embrace the love for the time being, treasure it with every whatever love that you have in your heart to shape it for beautiful memories that will last in our heart forever. This unspeakable love shall be view from the other side of passion to enrich the beautiful moment. To share that every single minutes of comforting love vacation with joy and happiness. Even it will just short time, but make it beautiful. Cherish it for the life time that might not known to us yet.
Doesn't mean the unwanted love can't be remedies to something most joyful moment in life. Shall see it with open heart and we will know it is not because of we never love, but it is because of this love is never will be belong to each other in this life. Perhaps, next life it will be ours.
After so many hurdle we faced in the past, its doesn't mean we can't find new direction to share this unspeakable love emotion and express the passion in the way that less harmful to either one of our love partner. We have been destined to this love square so that we are not feeling great loss when we are apart.
Let it remain this was, remain as the love that I will never have.....
In the end of the day, everything seems to be unable to resolves as Bimbo wanted it to be.
Now its become really clear to him that is bad enough the Love Square appear in his life. The time-frame remaining just only two or three month certainly not providing sufficient period to sustains the real colour of love he expects.
As for That Special someone, do not worry about what is next in this love square drama. Do not feel bad about what have happened. We shall thankful for what have happened and hopefully it will be the best moment of love that we will never have in our love life.
Embrace the love for the time being, treasure it with every whatever love that you have in your heart to shape it for beautiful memories that will last in our heart forever. This unspeakable love shall be view from the other side of passion to enrich the beautiful moment. To share that every single minutes of comforting love vacation with joy and happiness. Even it will just short time, but make it beautiful. Cherish it for the life time that might not known to us yet.
Doesn't mean the unwanted love can't be remedies to something most joyful moment in life. Shall see it with open heart and we will know it is not because of we never love, but it is because of this love is never will be belong to each other in this life. Perhaps, next life it will be ours.
After so many hurdle we faced in the past, its doesn't mean we can't find new direction to share this unspeakable love emotion and express the passion in the way that less harmful to either one of our love partner. We have been destined to this love square so that we are not feeling great loss when we are apart.
Let it remain this was, remain as the love that I will never have.....
Comedy FB 2010: Love Square for the Bimbos (Chapter Two)
Chapter One (Censored)
Chapter Two Wrote on : Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 12:56am
It is very beautiful feeling if life can be just the way we want it to be. Perhaps that is the reason people get delusion and become fanatic about something.
But what about a coincident that become something almost beautiful but at the same time you can have it? There is always a hurdle everywhere. The words describing this story will never be as romantic, or as hilarious the title can be. Its going to the path where life is getting complicated and it affecting every judgment of a single mind. It will take a courage to make a choices. With this choice, the real happiness maybe just right in-front of you.
Will the love square become more interesting in the end? What is the ending of this sad and sweet memories of every single second that has passed.
Love square remain a big question as it grow thicker everyday.
Unexpected love that was started with a one night stand now become something that Bimbo would really want with someone else. Unfortunately, Bimbo do not know if that someone ever feel the same if not because of the relationship that stand between them. The feeling of unknown to his feeling make Bimbo even more angry with himself. At the same time he couldn't decide what to do with the other one that is ready to wait and welcome him to his heart.
But what Bimbo will do? Bimbo will not want to hurt neither one of these people that he care for. Time has been very unfair since it have continue passing by and every moment is getting closer for bon voyage....
Bimbo wish he will be just enough with what he have and move on with life. Wish he have no other desire wanting a better look, charming, funny, relax and cool partner instead of getting too serious and become old again. But his heart telling him not to hurt anyone. he wish to go away before its too late. He wish things never happened so that he can escape this love square.
One time in Bimbo mind occur to him; what if he flirt around and have lots of fun randomly? What will that give back to him? What will he find or getting from that kind of life?. It is really tempting to get the most hot hotness and hold them in his arm even for just one night. Basically lusting for no other intention or string to attach. But, its maybe a little too late for that now. If Bimbo would do that, wanting it or not, Bimbo will still break someone heart. Or worse, the new hot hotness will falls for Bimbo... and then what next? More and more love floating on the air will make it more complicated for Bimbo... its bad enough to have love toward one and having another uninvited love inevitably waiting for Bimbo's heart to open up. Bimbo doesn't want the love square become Love Pentagon.
Let it remain Love Square
Chapter Two Wrote on : Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 12:56am
It is very beautiful feeling if life can be just the way we want it to be. Perhaps that is the reason people get delusion and become fanatic about something.
But what about a coincident that become something almost beautiful but at the same time you can have it? There is always a hurdle everywhere. The words describing this story will never be as romantic, or as hilarious the title can be. Its going to the path where life is getting complicated and it affecting every judgment of a single mind. It will take a courage to make a choices. With this choice, the real happiness maybe just right in-front of you.
Will the love square become more interesting in the end? What is the ending of this sad and sweet memories of every single second that has passed.
Love square remain a big question as it grow thicker everyday.
Unexpected love that was started with a one night stand now become something that Bimbo would really want with someone else. Unfortunately, Bimbo do not know if that someone ever feel the same if not because of the relationship that stand between them. The feeling of unknown to his feeling make Bimbo even more angry with himself. At the same time he couldn't decide what to do with the other one that is ready to wait and welcome him to his heart.
But what Bimbo will do? Bimbo will not want to hurt neither one of these people that he care for. Time has been very unfair since it have continue passing by and every moment is getting closer for bon voyage....
Bimbo wish he will be just enough with what he have and move on with life. Wish he have no other desire wanting a better look, charming, funny, relax and cool partner instead of getting too serious and become old again. But his heart telling him not to hurt anyone. he wish to go away before its too late. He wish things never happened so that he can escape this love square.
One time in Bimbo mind occur to him; what if he flirt around and have lots of fun randomly? What will that give back to him? What will he find or getting from that kind of life?. It is really tempting to get the most hot hotness and hold them in his arm even for just one night. Basically lusting for no other intention or string to attach. But, its maybe a little too late for that now. If Bimbo would do that, wanting it or not, Bimbo will still break someone heart. Or worse, the new hot hotness will falls for Bimbo... and then what next? More and more love floating on the air will make it more complicated for Bimbo... its bad enough to have love toward one and having another uninvited love inevitably waiting for Bimbo's heart to open up. Bimbo doesn't want the love square become Love Pentagon.
Let it remain Love Square
FB 2010: There is no word for this Tales (Monday, April 12, 2010 at 1:36am)
Its a tales about the great love I have for someone.
Perhaps, it is real and the most I've felt for someone. It do not know if this feeling is just another crush as they told me, or it is something that I really felt deep inside me...
There is no word to describe this love fairytale. I always think it is almost a fairytale because its something that only happened in a movie or a drama in this modern age. Or a beautiful story that story book always describe during bed-time story..
Well, let it be just this:
I wish you love..
wish you will be care by someone that able to love you more...
Even tho I can't measure how much love i can give you, but I am sure it is not less than anyone can offer you...
I don't want you to feel hurt when I am away...
I don't want you to be lonely when i am gone....
I don't want you left behind without any care...
Therefore, I rather let him be with you to make sure you are not alone...
I wish i can do more than just loving you....
But this life isn't always fair...
and love isn't fair as well...
If it is just me who love you more.... Just know that I never expect you will love me the same I've for you...
My only hope is to treasure all the sweet smiles, the cute face that I used to adore while I still near to you...
I do not want the regret of not having the most beautiful moment pictured in my heart and lost in the thin air...in time.
I have no words to describe the love I have for you....
If I can have you as adam having eve, I will...
If I able to have you beside my... I wish...
If I can make your world filled with happiness... I'll give...
But I will not steal your heart with empty promises.
The fact is, we are separated by the traditional minded that rejecting the existence of this love...
Will I be able to feel the comfort of this feeling in the end... I will never know...
Just know that it is enough just to know you for this short moment.... There is nothing more I can ask for...
There is no words to describe this tales.
*pardon my grammar*
Perhaps, it is real and the most I've felt for someone. It do not know if this feeling is just another crush as they told me, or it is something that I really felt deep inside me...
There is no word to describe this love fairytale. I always think it is almost a fairytale because its something that only happened in a movie or a drama in this modern age. Or a beautiful story that story book always describe during bed-time story..
Well, let it be just this:
I wish you love..
wish you will be care by someone that able to love you more...
Even tho I can't measure how much love i can give you, but I am sure it is not less than anyone can offer you...
I don't want you to feel hurt when I am away...
I don't want you to be lonely when i am gone....
I don't want you left behind without any care...
Therefore, I rather let him be with you to make sure you are not alone...
I wish i can do more than just loving you....
But this life isn't always fair...
and love isn't fair as well...
If it is just me who love you more.... Just know that I never expect you will love me the same I've for you...
My only hope is to treasure all the sweet smiles, the cute face that I used to adore while I still near to you...
I do not want the regret of not having the most beautiful moment pictured in my heart and lost in the thin air...in time.
I have no words to describe the love I have for you....
If I can have you as adam having eve, I will...
If I able to have you beside my... I wish...
If I can make your world filled with happiness... I'll give...
But I will not steal your heart with empty promises.
The fact is, we are separated by the traditional minded that rejecting the existence of this love...
Will I be able to feel the comfort of this feeling in the end... I will never know...
Just know that it is enough just to know you for this short moment.... There is nothing more I can ask for...
There is no words to describe this tales.
*pardon my grammar*
Song; Stuck in the Moment by Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber
Stuck In The Moment lyrics
With you
With you
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Now Romeo & Juliet
Bet they never felt the way we felt
Bonnie & Clyde
Never had to hide like we do we do
You and I, although it can't work
It's all fun and games
'Til someone gets hurt
And I don't
I won't let that be you
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
There might be something real between us two
Who knew
Now we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
Cause I know you can't love me here
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do (can do)
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like Adam & Eve
Tragedy was a destiny
Like Sonny & Cher
I don't care
I got you baby
See we both
Fightin' every inch of our fiber
Cause in a way
It's gonna end right but
We are both too foolish to stop
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
There might be something real between us two
Who knew
And we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
And I know you can't love me here
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do (can do)
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like
Just because this cold cold world saying we can't be
Baby we both have the right to disagree
And I ain't with it
And I don't wanna be so old and gray
Something isn't 'bout these better days
But something's just telling us to let go
So we'll never know
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Cause everything we did
And everything we have is stuck in the moment
Yeah
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Oh no no
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
(Nothing my heart can do)
To fight with time and space
(Time and space)
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
Yeah
This song is the theme of 2010-04-09, such things that we have is either reality or fantasy... its somehow stuck in the moment and will not be the same anymore..
Stuck In The Moment lyrics
With you
With you
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Now Romeo & Juliet
Bet they never felt the way we felt
Bonnie & Clyde
Never had to hide like we do we do
You and I, although it can't work
It's all fun and games
'Til someone gets hurt
And I don't
I won't let that be you
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
There might be something real between us two
Who knew
Now we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
Cause I know you can't love me here
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do (can do)
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like Adam & Eve
Tragedy was a destiny
Like Sonny & Cher
I don't care
I got you baby
See we both
Fightin' every inch of our fiber
Cause in a way
It's gonna end right but
We are both too foolish to stop
Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
There might be something real between us two
Who knew
And we don't wanna fall but
We're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
And I know you can't love me here
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do (can do)
To fight with time and space cause
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
See like
Just because this cold cold world saying we can't be
Baby we both have the right to disagree
And I ain't with it
And I don't wanna be so old and gray
Something isn't 'bout these better days
But something's just telling us to let go
So we'll never know
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Cause everything we did
And everything we have is stuck in the moment
Yeah
I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place
Oh no no
But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
(Nothing my heart can do)
To fight with time and space
(Time and space)
I'm still stuck in the moment with you
Yeah
This song is the theme of 2010-04-09, such things that we have is either reality or fantasy... its somehow stuck in the moment and will not be the same anymore..
FB 2010: Google Earth_ Places I usually go / stay
Wrote on: Thursday, April 8, 2010 at 12:32pm
Hi,
Here is the coordinate in Google earth of where i am about in Tripoli.
Basically, you will need to find the coordinate as stated down here in the "Find Business" field.
Place #1: My new close friend in Tripoli (Joseph)
32.850467, 13.196135
Place #2: My own place
32.816878, 13.177417
Place #3: My work site
32.831603, 13.164606
So now you all will know exactly where I been in Tripoli.
More friend to be update in here...but of cos, only for private view of those tagged in here. Appreciate the privacy. Thank you.
Hi,
Here is the coordinate in Google earth of where i am about in Tripoli.
Basically, you will need to find the coordinate as stated down here in the "Find Business" field.
Place #1: My new close friend in Tripoli (Joseph)
32.850467, 13.196135
This is Joseph
Place #2: My own place
32.816878, 13.177417
Place #3: My work site
32.831603, 13.164606
Nice job for 3 month actual progress
So now you all will know exactly where I been in Tripoli.
This is Joseph and Ehab (another friend)
More friend to be update in here...but of cos, only for private view of those tagged in here. Appreciate the privacy. Thank you.
FB 2010: The Painful Happiness That Lies Within My Heart
Wrote on: Thursday, April 1, 2010 at 5:04am
The adventure of happiness quest was begin in the month of March in 2010.
After a long busy months at work, finally I decided to explore the possibility of happiness. Only that i didn't expect it will be such a painful feeling and yet it was my most happiest moment in my older age that I encounter in one evening of meeting with new friends in Tripoli.
It all started from an idea of finding the fun activities that may seems to be hopeless in this place. Naively unaware of the happiness (even if only for temporary) is just in front of me. After extended a job offers to a friend, I felt oblige to ensure that he will survive the extreme new work environment. Even tho for myself, this extreme environment I consider as part of my challenging life. I never ever affected by boring lifestyle after work because I get used of being focus to aim high for my future. But this time, it pop up in my head that my age is getting older and I almost passing the stage that I probably will miss the fun of being young and alive. Time really fly and it will never turning back.
So as I decided to make preparation to welcome this friend, I also decided to finding the "key" for the last door before I enter the next round number of my age. Surprised by the beauty of lovely and warm welcome by Tripoli citizen specially the first Libyan friend in Tripoli, I begin to know there are so much more to explore and I had such good time finding it. After few week of knowing this friend a.k.a Mego, as promised he invited me to a very special private party on 11/3/2010. That is when my whole point of view changed entirely about how to pass time in Libya. It was beyond my expectation that I will so happy that evening. That was the beginning of the whole story.
The evening started smoothly and went through until the morning. The start of this story probably will boring who ever read about it, but I guess it is the important part of this story. Not sure of how to describe it, a part of me couldn't forget the first moment I saw new faces with every excitement I asked Mego for each of their names. Mego was bit busy try to gather everybody at one place before reaching the destination. That was when my first encounter with this special person who really impressed me at the first impression. Without knowing or even notice his name, we started to have conversation that I couldn't have with anyone at the first meeting. Probably it was because of the language barrier but, it was really something that I will never forget because from there, it have become bitter sweet memories.
In the party, I found few interesting people that I attracted to. But because of I was so fanatically "monogamous" or better to call it stupidity of being attached with someone, I didn't really mingle for other intention aside of enjoying the moment. Later part of the evening, I realised that why should i waste such good moment and I should start to explore the possibility. But then it was bit too late to make a move or bit too cautious and not daring enough to go beyond self decency. Everybody were taken and as usual I end up with less interesting of being "available". So as until the next morning, I had really good time. Somehow, the crush I had never fade away and its develop into something that I never expects. Probably it was because of the first impression, or probably it was just the desire to flirt further. Or probably it was just a "test drive" to know where i stand at my older age. Well then the new chapter start after the party ends.
Couldn't forget about the most fun night I ever had in Tripoli (or probably for the past 2 years), I decided to pursue the possibility with this special person. At first it was basically some kind of flirt. I definitely have no other intention aside of getting laid. Somehow a cruel intention then turned into a very sweet moment and get to know the real inner side of this special person. Lets name the special person as "J". Coincidentally, I had the interest to become gym member for the 1st time in my life. I decided to meet with "J" for gym. After the gym, we went for dinner. Such follow up was never happened to me with just anyone, however it happened with "J" because I had so much fun talking about jokes, smile and relief from stress after work. Our gym routine have brought us nearer each day and I felt ease for having new friend. Better not to share the crazily " imaginary details" how it turned sour from a sweet sweet memories. In the end of the week I realised that I have fall for this "J".
The craziest I ever did, without knowing what is next I decided to end my relationship with "A" on 18/3/2010. Anyhow my relationship is rotten anyway. I didn't planned for any activity with other friend at that weekend simply I want to spend more time with "J" and talk about lot of things. Inevitable phone call rings, I didn't expect so soon there will be another party I need to attend. Couldn't refuse I had to accept the invitation, but "J" were not comfortable with the invitation because he was not invited at first. "J" were facing dilemma either to stay home or had to go later just to accommodate my persistent request to be with me there in the party.
So sweet feeling felt so good when "J" still made up for his promise and came to the party. Feel so happy, but still bit unease about the whole thing. Unfortunately, that unease feeling is a sign of a giant demolisher that the beautiful evening then shattered with broken heart and crying tears. On that night I was intended to go off early with "J" and tell him about me & "A" are no longer attach and would love to talk more about many other thing that we used to share in the pass few days. We never had that moment alone. As the broken heart bleed with tears, I felt really painful inside, just don't know why it hurt so much....... I guess i really have fell for "J". Its not the look, its not the flirt, its not the sex (not sexual intention), its not the relationship that i hunger for, but something was gone with "J" that night when he left the party with broken heart. I still couldn't forgive myself for let it happened...
I would not expect so much from anyone, not from "J".... but something have really changed since that night. I do not blame anyone aside myself for being vulnerable.... however, The way i see it, things happened for reason and it meant to be remain that way.
I do not want to hurt "J" or anyone else. I am happy "J" is now back with "ex". I will be happy for "J" as long "J" felt love and care....
Perhaps, "J" still able to feel my sorrow every time I miss the moment we had together, how much I wish "J" beside me to comfort this bleeding heart...I know it is very selfish to ask for so much, but I can't held my feeling for "J". "J" said it will be gone, it just the temporary thing. I wish I can make it go away, but it doesn't come and go as I wish anymore.
The only way to forget probably I have to go away, perhaps the distance will cure this bleed... If the time is right, I only have few more month with "J"... I would treasure every single remaining minutes with "J" before I keep away the silent love deep in my heart forever. I am glad I found you, thank you for ever make me feel love even if it was just a love from a friend....
Perhaps, when you forgotten who I was, just remember that someone ever love you so much... wish you all the best of love in your life, bless with success and bright future.
sign,
the silent love.
The adventure of happiness quest was begin in the month of March in 2010.
After a long busy months at work, finally I decided to explore the possibility of happiness. Only that i didn't expect it will be such a painful feeling and yet it was my most happiest moment in my older age that I encounter in one evening of meeting with new friends in Tripoli.
It all started from an idea of finding the fun activities that may seems to be hopeless in this place. Naively unaware of the happiness (even if only for temporary) is just in front of me. After extended a job offers to a friend, I felt oblige to ensure that he will survive the extreme new work environment. Even tho for myself, this extreme environment I consider as part of my challenging life. I never ever affected by boring lifestyle after work because I get used of being focus to aim high for my future. But this time, it pop up in my head that my age is getting older and I almost passing the stage that I probably will miss the fun of being young and alive. Time really fly and it will never turning back.
So as I decided to make preparation to welcome this friend, I also decided to finding the "key" for the last door before I enter the next round number of my age. Surprised by the beauty of lovely and warm welcome by Tripoli citizen specially the first Libyan friend in Tripoli, I begin to know there are so much more to explore and I had such good time finding it. After few week of knowing this friend a.k.a Mego, as promised he invited me to a very special private party on 11/3/2010. That is when my whole point of view changed entirely about how to pass time in Libya. It was beyond my expectation that I will so happy that evening. That was the beginning of the whole story.
The evening started smoothly and went through until the morning. The start of this story probably will boring who ever read about it, but I guess it is the important part of this story. Not sure of how to describe it, a part of me couldn't forget the first moment I saw new faces with every excitement I asked Mego for each of their names. Mego was bit busy try to gather everybody at one place before reaching the destination. That was when my first encounter with this special person who really impressed me at the first impression. Without knowing or even notice his name, we started to have conversation that I couldn't have with anyone at the first meeting. Probably it was because of the language barrier but, it was really something that I will never forget because from there, it have become bitter sweet memories.
In the party, I found few interesting people that I attracted to. But because of I was so fanatically "monogamous" or better to call it stupidity of being attached with someone, I didn't really mingle for other intention aside of enjoying the moment. Later part of the evening, I realised that why should i waste such good moment and I should start to explore the possibility. But then it was bit too late to make a move or bit too cautious and not daring enough to go beyond self decency. Everybody were taken and as usual I end up with less interesting of being "available". So as until the next morning, I had really good time. Somehow, the crush I had never fade away and its develop into something that I never expects. Probably it was because of the first impression, or probably it was just the desire to flirt further. Or probably it was just a "test drive" to know where i stand at my older age. Well then the new chapter start after the party ends.
Couldn't forget about the most fun night I ever had in Tripoli (or probably for the past 2 years), I decided to pursue the possibility with this special person. At first it was basically some kind of flirt. I definitely have no other intention aside of getting laid. Somehow a cruel intention then turned into a very sweet moment and get to know the real inner side of this special person. Lets name the special person as "J". Coincidentally, I had the interest to become gym member for the 1st time in my life. I decided to meet with "J" for gym. After the gym, we went for dinner. Such follow up was never happened to me with just anyone, however it happened with "J" because I had so much fun talking about jokes, smile and relief from stress after work. Our gym routine have brought us nearer each day and I felt ease for having new friend. Better not to share the crazily " imaginary details" how it turned sour from a sweet sweet memories. In the end of the week I realised that I have fall for this "J".
The craziest I ever did, without knowing what is next I decided to end my relationship with "A" on 18/3/2010. Anyhow my relationship is rotten anyway. I didn't planned for any activity with other friend at that weekend simply I want to spend more time with "J" and talk about lot of things. Inevitable phone call rings, I didn't expect so soon there will be another party I need to attend. Couldn't refuse I had to accept the invitation, but "J" were not comfortable with the invitation because he was not invited at first. "J" were facing dilemma either to stay home or had to go later just to accommodate my persistent request to be with me there in the party.
So sweet feeling felt so good when "J" still made up for his promise and came to the party. Feel so happy, but still bit unease about the whole thing. Unfortunately, that unease feeling is a sign of a giant demolisher that the beautiful evening then shattered with broken heart and crying tears. On that night I was intended to go off early with "J" and tell him about me & "A" are no longer attach and would love to talk more about many other thing that we used to share in the pass few days. We never had that moment alone. As the broken heart bleed with tears, I felt really painful inside, just don't know why it hurt so much....... I guess i really have fell for "J". Its not the look, its not the flirt, its not the sex (not sexual intention), its not the relationship that i hunger for, but something was gone with "J" that night when he left the party with broken heart. I still couldn't forgive myself for let it happened...
I would not expect so much from anyone, not from "J".... but something have really changed since that night. I do not blame anyone aside myself for being vulnerable.... however, The way i see it, things happened for reason and it meant to be remain that way.
I do not want to hurt "J" or anyone else. I am happy "J" is now back with "ex". I will be happy for "J" as long "J" felt love and care....
Perhaps, "J" still able to feel my sorrow every time I miss the moment we had together, how much I wish "J" beside me to comfort this bleeding heart...I know it is very selfish to ask for so much, but I can't held my feeling for "J". "J" said it will be gone, it just the temporary thing. I wish I can make it go away, but it doesn't come and go as I wish anymore.
The only way to forget probably I have to go away, perhaps the distance will cure this bleed... If the time is right, I only have few more month with "J"... I would treasure every single remaining minutes with "J" before I keep away the silent love deep in my heart forever. I am glad I found you, thank you for ever make me feel love even if it was just a love from a friend....
Perhaps, when you forgotten who I was, just remember that someone ever love you so much... wish you all the best of love in your life, bless with success and bright future.
sign,
the silent love.
This is Joseph
This is Joseph and Ehab (another friend)
FB 2010: How I prioritise Matters in Life
How I prioritise Matters in Life > Saturday, March 27, 2010 at 3:34am
Above all the following list... I love myself. The rest of what I love will be rank as the following:
Rank 1st: Family
Rank 2nd: BBFF
Rank3rd: Lover
Rank 4th: Close Friend
Rank 5th: Dating / Scandals / Affairs / Relationship without sure of love
Rank 6th: Friends / Acquintance Rank
7th: Normal Friends
Rank 8th: Sex Definition of my emotion.
What are yours? Make one list to know what you really want..and ask your friend what they think are important in their Life.
Video: I SURRENDER by Celine Dion
I SURRENDER
By: Celine Dion
From: Passion Celine Dion
There's so much life
I've left to live
And this fire's burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find a will
To stand for every dream
And forsake this solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you
'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance, to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
I know
I can't survive another night away from you
You're the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth
Right now, there's no better time
From this fear, I will break free
And I'll live again with love
And no they can't take that away from me
And they will see... yeah
(I'd surrender everything)
To feel the chance, to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'll make you give them all to me
I'll hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
Every night's gettin' longer
And this fire is getting stronger baby
I'll swallow my pride
And I'll be alive
Can't you hear my call?
I surrender all...
(I'll surrender everything)
(To feel the chance, to live again)
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'll make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'll make you give them all to me
I'll hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
Right here, right now
I'd give my life to live again
I'll break free
Take me, my everything
I surrender all to you
(Right now)
Right now
(I'd give my life to live again)
I'd give my life
(I'll break free, Take me)
Take me, take me
(my everything)
My everything
(I surrender all to you, right now)
Right now
(I'd give my life to live again)
I'd give my life to you baby
I'll break free, yeah free
Video; Tell Him by Celine dion
I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh
What if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do
I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance
To love him pass you by
Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself
Touch him (Oooh)
With the gentleness you feel inside (I feel it)
Your love can't be denied
The truth will set you free
You'll have what's meant to be
All in time you'll see
Oooh
I love him (Then show him)
Of that much I can be sure (Hold him close to you)
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say
Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself
Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Your faith will lead love where it has to go
Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Whisper words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself
Oooh
Never let him go
Video: Just Walk Away by Celine Dion
Just Walk Away Lyrics
Artist(Band):Celine Dion
Just Walk Away Lyrics
I know I never loved this way before
And no one else has loved me more
With you I've laughed and cried
I have lived and died
What I wouldn't do just to be with you
I know I must forget you to go on
I can't hold back my tears too long
Though life won't be the same
I've got to take the blame
And find the strengthI need to let you go
Just walk away
Just say goodbye
Don't turn around now you may see me cry
I mustn't fall apart
Or show my broken heart
Or the love I feel for you
So walk away
And close the door
And let my life be as it was before
And I'll never never know
Just how I let you go
But there's nothing left to say
Just walk away
There'll never be a moment I'll regret
I've loved you since the day we met
For all the love you gave
And all the love we made
I know I've got to find the strength to say
Just walk away
Just say goodbye
Don't turn around now you may see me cry
I mustn't fall apart
Or show my broken heart
Or the love I feel for you
So walk away
And close the door
And let my life be as it was before
And I'll never never know
Just how I let you go
But there's nothing left to say
Just walk away
Video: Takin Chances By Celine Dion
Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.
You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,
But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.
What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?
Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world
Video: Is It True by Yohanna
You say you really know me,
You're not afraid to show me
What is in your eyes
So tell me about the rumours
Are they only rumours?
Are they only lies?
Falling out of a perfect dream, coming out of the blue.
Is it true?
Is it over?
Did I throw it away?
Was it you?
Did you tell me you would never leave me this way?
If you really knew me
You couldn't do this to me
You would be my friend
If one of us is lying
There's no use in trying
No need to pretend
Falling out of a perfect dream, coming out of the blue
Is it true?
Is it over?
Did I throw it away?
Was it you?
Did you tell me you would never leave me this way?
Is it true?
Is it over?
Did I throw it away?
Was it you?
Did you tell me you would never leave me this way?
Is it real?
Did I dream it?
Will I wake from this pain
Is it true?
Is it over?
Baby did I throw it away?
Fairytale lyrics: Alexander Rybak
Years ago, when i was younger,
I kinda liked a girl I knew.
She was mine and we were sweethearts;
That was then, but then it's true.
CHORUS :
I'm in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind
I'm already cursed.
Every day we started fighting,
Every night we fell in love.
No one else could make me sadder,
But no one else could lift me high above.
I don't know what I was doing
When suddenly we fell apart.
Nowadays I cannot find her,
But when I do we'll get a brand new start.
CHORUS :
I'm in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind
I'm already cursed.
She's a fairytale, Yeaaah !
Even though it hurts.
'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind
I'm already cursed.
This is Jozef fav's song. It is a song that we both share interest and common point of view.
I kinda liked a girl I knew.
She was mine and we were sweethearts;
That was then, but then it's true.
CHORUS :
I'm in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind
I'm already cursed.
Every day we started fighting,
Every night we fell in love.
No one else could make me sadder,
But no one else could lift me high above.
I don't know what I was doing
When suddenly we fell apart.
Nowadays I cannot find her,
But when I do we'll get a brand new start.
CHORUS :
I'm in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind
I'm already cursed.
She's a fairytale, Yeaaah !
Even though it hurts.
'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind
I'm already cursed.
This is Jozef fav's song. It is a song that we both share interest and common point of view.
FB 2009: Pray With Me
Pray with me:
Pray that I will have peaceful thought and a mind to resolves my problem. Pray that I will have physical and mental health. Pray that I will have better future without worrying about my financial problem. Pray that the challenge I faced now will improve my life. Pray that I can enjoy my life and youth like others. Pray that at least I can have a decent life without so much problem in every single step I make. Pray that the dark omen are avoiding my faith. Pray that the best luck will shadow me in every seconds of my hardest moment.
Pray that I will have peaceful thought and a mind to resolves my problem. Pray that I will have physical and mental health. Pray that I will have better future without worrying about my financial problem. Pray that the challenge I faced now will improve my life. Pray that I can enjoy my life and youth like others. Pray that at least I can have a decent life without so much problem in every single step I make. Pray that the dark omen are avoiding my faith. Pray that the best luck will shadow me in every seconds of my hardest moment.
FB 2009: suddenly, my mind become so .......><..........unknown to myself
Wonder what is next in life...after all, I've been there & done most of the others never even knew about..... In the end, life can be meaningless or filled with surprise.
I've been writing and doing things regardless of my life is actually sucks. But, I guess its make me a better person each time. Its bitter, its hard, its really heartbreaking...but that the only way that I know I actually benefits from all the trouble I've faced in the past. No matter how much I try to avoid my complicated life, it keep coming..... Actually, that is just me. Thats is life... I should only see the different in it and the sense in every of the trouble. Actually was not even a trouble. I would say it is a life lesson learned and that lesson keep you alive and realize that life does matter to me.
Its not important that you are rich, famous, ordinary, poor, success or death.... this life is just a shell that keep motivate you to achieve something and get going every time. Every class every pennies is just a measurement of how good you appear or shine in your society. But the fact is, does anyone really know what it means to be wanting nothing.... I guess none are capable of being so pure and genuine.
At if, I need no care of those I love and care about.... would I be the person I am now? As if, I have nothing in this life, would I be care more or less than anything that could be not even anyone think of? Nothing is actually make me feel good about this life beside the life itself actually make it interesting. Not the person, not the environment, not anybody else, not money, not the fame, not the knowledge... but what you get in life that really value you more than you are to you or anyone else in this world.
Its how you accept this life as it is.... like your friend accepting you as you are... as your parent have raised you was not even knowing what would you becoming...
This note could be just another stupid thing to you.. It doesn't matter what you think. Its all I need to know about myself.
I've been writing and doing things regardless of my life is actually sucks. But, I guess its make me a better person each time. Its bitter, its hard, its really heartbreaking...but that the only way that I know I actually benefits from all the trouble I've faced in the past. No matter how much I try to avoid my complicated life, it keep coming..... Actually, that is just me. Thats is life... I should only see the different in it and the sense in every of the trouble. Actually was not even a trouble. I would say it is a life lesson learned and that lesson keep you alive and realize that life does matter to me.
Its not important that you are rich, famous, ordinary, poor, success or death.... this life is just a shell that keep motivate you to achieve something and get going every time. Every class every pennies is just a measurement of how good you appear or shine in your society. But the fact is, does anyone really know what it means to be wanting nothing.... I guess none are capable of being so pure and genuine.
At if, I need no care of those I love and care about.... would I be the person I am now? As if, I have nothing in this life, would I be care more or less than anything that could be not even anyone think of? Nothing is actually make me feel good about this life beside the life itself actually make it interesting. Not the person, not the environment, not anybody else, not money, not the fame, not the knowledge... but what you get in life that really value you more than you are to you or anyone else in this world.
Its how you accept this life as it is.... like your friend accepting you as you are... as your parent have raised you was not even knowing what would you becoming...
This note could be just another stupid thing to you.. It doesn't matter what you think. Its all I need to know about myself.
FB 2009: Another Friday Off (3rd Friday off Since 28th Dec 08)
This photo was taken on a drive around in Al Marj.
I was with a Bangladeshi and Pinoy Engineer driving around Al Marj area during friday off. We was driving to the farm estate in Al Marj. We was enjoying the green field and the blossom Almond Tree.
Didn't manage to take many photo tho, but hoping to visit another farm next Friday's off. Or maybe hoping for a snow in Al Bayda soon. The weather here is too cold and wet. It rain quite frequent this month. Probably its about time snow period in Al Bayda.
Ok, back to this photo, we only manage to stopped at road side and took this photo before we set off for Benghazi drive...
This Friday bit tired becos we travel at 3pm and reach home at 12.15am the next morning. I was driving. It was awesome day trip because I experienced the crazy driving in Benghazi town.
Anyway, it was fun and tiring friday off.
I was with a Bangladeshi and Pinoy Engineer driving around Al Marj area during friday off. We was driving to the farm estate in Al Marj. We was enjoying the green field and the blossom Almond Tree.
Didn't manage to take many photo tho, but hoping to visit another farm next Friday's off. Or maybe hoping for a snow in Al Bayda soon. The weather here is too cold and wet. It rain quite frequent this month. Probably its about time snow period in Al Bayda.
Ok, back to this photo, we only manage to stopped at road side and took this photo before we set off for Benghazi drive...
This Friday bit tired becos we travel at 3pm and reach home at 12.15am the next morning. I was driving. It was awesome day trip because I experienced the crazy driving in Benghazi town.
Anyway, it was fun and tiring friday off.
FB 2009: Jerry's Story Ver.11.02.09
I reach Libya since 28th December 09. Now already one and half month I actually happy with my life.
For the last time (I hope) no more bad choice. I have passed few hardest moment in my life. Or so say it is never easy for me ever since beginning.
Not many of you who really really understand me. Not even myself. All this time I was searching for few missing pieces in my puzzle's life. For the 2nd or maybe 3rd time know I know I do found something after few worst experiences in my life.
The reason of writing this note was because I actually want only few of you who really means something in my life to read it. Been trying to write in blog but never did that. Probably blogging is too much of time consuming and it is not accessible in Libya.
I maybe an ambitious person, but most of my dreams are for others (parent & Sibling). I hate being me because I can't stop dreaming and plan for others. Maybe one day I would choose another way. Perhaps it is never a good choices... but I do need to dream which should also includes them in my life.
Don't hate me or don't judge me for being self centric and "living in my own world". I know others also have their issues, but I rather talk about mine. Probably this is not something that you would like to read about. Too serious, no humor and hopeless.
For one reason, friends in Abu Dhabi call me blonde.. Probably this is something that I should be grateful because at least there is something that make them laugh.
I could be very serious during working hours and I could be very fragile when I am alone, I could be very sensitive when something occurred, I can be very cruel if I choose to be. But most of all I am trusting my intuition more than anything else. When I feel discomfort, there must be something not right somewhere... its all proven and happened. I also believe that could be influenced by state of mental. The worst is would be crazy if I have no money....
I forgot to mention that I maybe a workaholic person. I put myself entirely to work because I work for my self-satisfaction and achievement. I don't care of how huge the work load or bad the situation. I do believe by doing sincere and honest job would earned me fair return.
I do not have any interesting story to tell because my life is such a boring and freaky weird. I can have an easy and relax life without thinking of what will "future" be if I just enjoy this youth. All I have is put myself far-far away from the human civilization and earned so much then spent it all on my family benefits without spares for myself. Stupid but that is me. I just can't stop being too ambitious to achieves something in such short time.
Perhaps I am weird in so many way, but I just want to have and taste the same youth like others does. I still wonder when I can do things that I really like without having consider this and that.....
I am not a shopaholic, yet I enjoy purchasing things and then regretted that I have spent so much on it. But the best time I spent for shopping was in Auh. No matter how it was bad, it is still the best time of my adult life.
My favorite places is still the middle east. It is hot during summer and nice cold during winter. Plus I love my life in Middle east. But best not to be in Middle east. Libya is suitable enough to restraint most of my bad habits.
I have work in 5 country in 5 years of my career track. For a reason I am thankful for what I am now because I know where I've put myself for.
There is a short story about me is not going to get marry. Probably I am just not the kind of person who would think of having family. End of Story. Do not ask or speculate anything from that conclusion.
I am going 29th this year, and I hate my "number". If possible of keeping the age stagnant like Peter Pan would be best. Therefore, I always told everybody my age is always 17th if they asked. Sadly, average guessing would be minimum 31 y.o. When they guessing 22y.o then I would be smiling. I really hate talking about my age. so do not ask if you still not knowing it.
Important people in my life is my Parent, Sibling, nephews & niece, Aunt Ida, Aunt Margy, My dear best friend (you know who you are), few special friends. They all mean alot to me.
I dont know what to write most of the time, but I actually have so many to write about. But I guess most of you do not like to know about it.
So I tend to keep this notes just for myself.
For the last time (I hope) no more bad choice. I have passed few hardest moment in my life. Or so say it is never easy for me ever since beginning.
Not many of you who really really understand me. Not even myself. All this time I was searching for few missing pieces in my puzzle's life. For the 2nd or maybe 3rd time know I know I do found something after few worst experiences in my life.
The reason of writing this note was because I actually want only few of you who really means something in my life to read it. Been trying to write in blog but never did that. Probably blogging is too much of time consuming and it is not accessible in Libya.
I maybe an ambitious person, but most of my dreams are for others (parent & Sibling). I hate being me because I can't stop dreaming and plan for others. Maybe one day I would choose another way. Perhaps it is never a good choices... but I do need to dream which should also includes them in my life.
Don't hate me or don't judge me for being self centric and "living in my own world". I know others also have their issues, but I rather talk about mine. Probably this is not something that you would like to read about. Too serious, no humor and hopeless.
For one reason, friends in Abu Dhabi call me blonde.. Probably this is something that I should be grateful because at least there is something that make them laugh.
I could be very serious during working hours and I could be very fragile when I am alone, I could be very sensitive when something occurred, I can be very cruel if I choose to be. But most of all I am trusting my intuition more than anything else. When I feel discomfort, there must be something not right somewhere... its all proven and happened. I also believe that could be influenced by state of mental. The worst is would be crazy if I have no money....
I forgot to mention that I maybe a workaholic person. I put myself entirely to work because I work for my self-satisfaction and achievement. I don't care of how huge the work load or bad the situation. I do believe by doing sincere and honest job would earned me fair return.
I do not have any interesting story to tell because my life is such a boring and freaky weird. I can have an easy and relax life without thinking of what will "future" be if I just enjoy this youth. All I have is put myself far-far away from the human civilization and earned so much then spent it all on my family benefits without spares for myself. Stupid but that is me. I just can't stop being too ambitious to achieves something in such short time.
Perhaps I am weird in so many way, but I just want to have and taste the same youth like others does. I still wonder when I can do things that I really like without having consider this and that.....
I am not a shopaholic, yet I enjoy purchasing things and then regretted that I have spent so much on it. But the best time I spent for shopping was in Auh. No matter how it was bad, it is still the best time of my adult life.
My favorite places is still the middle east. It is hot during summer and nice cold during winter. Plus I love my life in Middle east. But best not to be in Middle east. Libya is suitable enough to restraint most of my bad habits.
I have work in 5 country in 5 years of my career track. For a reason I am thankful for what I am now because I know where I've put myself for.
There is a short story about me is not going to get marry. Probably I am just not the kind of person who would think of having family. End of Story. Do not ask or speculate anything from that conclusion.
I am going 29th this year, and I hate my "number". If possible of keeping the age stagnant like Peter Pan would be best. Therefore, I always told everybody my age is always 17th if they asked. Sadly, average guessing would be minimum 31 y.o. When they guessing 22y.o then I would be smiling. I really hate talking about my age. so do not ask if you still not knowing it.
Important people in my life is my Parent, Sibling, nephews & niece, Aunt Ida, Aunt Margy, My dear best friend (you know who you are), few special friends. They all mean alot to me.
I dont know what to write most of the time, but I actually have so many to write about. But I guess most of you do not like to know about it.
So I tend to keep this notes just for myself.
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