Uncertainty all over again.

I can't wait for uncertainty. I never know what is our relationship. At some point I feel that you try to avoid me. At some point, you still here.

At some point that I think you feel sorry for me.

If that is the case. I am sorry. I guess I am all alone before, and even lonelier now.

I can't blame you for not wanting me the same I do want you. That is just my luck in life, to be left alone without getting love from the one that I love.

It is not about me angry or whatever it is. But I did think alot lately, if this life is so unfair to me. I can't blame anyone for not loving me as I love them. It is my fault to have lied to myself all this time and believe that one day, the right guy will finally come.

Maybe love is never exist for me. Maybe love is not meant for me. Maybe I suppose to be alone all my life.

I wish I could have the right person, so that I should stop waiting and searching for the lost love that I have waited for so long.

I never see it coming, perhaps it is really just me that don't deserve any happiness in this lifetime. It can't be anybody's fault, but it is mine.

Looks like it will be just me being alone and forever alone.

I thought that the poem describe the reality of love, but it is never actually happens because it said:---->

"If you love someone, let them be free.
If you care for someone, let them be free.

If that someone come back to you, he is yours.
So, I did let it be free. Hoping it will come back and actually be mine.

If you love, let it be free and it will coming back"

<----- I guess, I never will see if that love is actually come back to me.

No matter how much I love you, I am just not good enough.

I am not giving up, but It does make me thinking dearly.

I can't afford this pain. It is a pleasure to have you, but it is too much pain for not knowing how you actually feel.

Even if i know how you feel, i probably do not want to believe it because it is too painful to know that you don't feel the same for me.

If it is a revenge of my previous mistake, God please forgive me. But please don't take away this love because I will feel so empty without it.

Should I wait more?

Admit it when you found love.

Don't be afraid to admit love if you found one. Don't take it for granted when someone love you, you should love him back. If you do not show him or tell him how you feel, he may not be around forever to wait for something that is unsure.

Most of time, you only want things that you yet to get and most of time you neglected the one that you already have. You just don't realized it until your regrets is too late.

If you found love, treasure him and love him back. As you will not know when that he could be taken from you. Maybe it is sooner than you thought it should.

Put away your greed, lust, unfulfillable demands, because all these will blinds you. Once you had cleared your mind and finally understood your feeling for him, perhaps it is still not too late. Meanwhile, feel it, taste it, and do it as you want.

But always be reminded that he will not wait further without something to hold on to. That is suppose to be you.

Happy 2011... yey yey

Finally, life is more pleasant when you are taken......

In the beginning of 2011, fresh start for everything. I found love, life and being where I really expects myself to be.

My lovely baby is finally mine.... and only mine.... gosh, this feel so good.

2010 is history. Even it ends with a shocking worry that maybe something I don't need at the moment, but life is always about balances. Once you get what you want, you have to put another at rest. Not KIV it, but being capable to let go of the past. However, its all ok for me. I have what I need to survive. What's lost is lost, what's past is past.

Naive as it sound, but everybody need love. That's what matter most. Regardless how hard life will be, and how much it will challenge you facing the day to come. Still deep down you feel happy as long you know you are not alone.

At least that is how I feel about 2011. The change finally favoring me in the end. If this life has become shorten, I would not regret it. I felt it right on time.

The date of 1/1/11 (1111) is the number I would remember always.
(It will be the day you and me)

The 2/1/11 is an additional assurance that I am officially happy.
(The day you said something so beautiful)

The 4/1/11 is another day of loving moment.
(The day you make up for the whole year of 2010 that I thought I have lost, You make me remember and feel blessed that you feel the same way)

From now on, living life the fullest is just the beginning.... because I love you.....

2011 is the year of success, love, happiness, fun and forward......