It was something that I never even thought that I will be facing with someone that I care so much in a friendship.
On 4th August 2010, life never seems to be the hardest thing to face, feeling is never been the ugliest expression that I would know. I was unable to shed any tear. My heart was shred to small pieces when I heart of a fact that I should be hearing from the one that I trust the most. My dear best friend. At least that is what I thought of this relationship I had with him.
Despite the love that I have for him, there is nothing else that could destroy our friendship. Nothing could ever I would be able to think of. Somehow, my weakness is to trust, giving the most honesty, sincerity, and truth with every generosity that I can find in my heart. My virtue are always and will be always stay put to have been true to my real friends.
How will I be able to forgive? I know it will be acceptable excuses if you gave it in the past few months back. But this lies that you hide from me this time is unforgivable because I was always asking about the truth because I know deep down in my heart, I can't hold up your life simple for my own selfishness. Yet, you have chose not to be honest with me. You make me feel that i am not worth to be trust as a friend and you do not have the faith in me. What will that make me? It obviously you never thought of me the same I thought of you as my special friend. It is far beyond anything, you always got me wrong. You treated me worst than a stranger on the street and lied to me about one specific question that I consistently asked you to be truth to me.
If it was few months back, I probably not ready to let you move on with your life. But that was few months ago, and I did told you that I was not ready then. The situation have changed this time. I am ready to let go and let you move on with your life. I make a choice to see you happy, and I encouraged you to find that happiness within your heart, just be truth to me when you found it. I will be happy for you.
Today, it is 6th August.
I never felt so much real about my decision to let go of you and I know it is the reality fact that I did the right thing when I asked you to choose your priority. You said I am not in the same "Scale". What did you mean by not the same "Scale". From then on, I knew that I am not even in any part of your thought. I am far beyond measure of having my friendship with you, because I was not even in the measuring "scale" as you said. I wonder,..... really opened my eyes and I woke up that you have put me last in your priority and decided to defense for your denial to have lied on my face.
I will move on, I still have my life. But to have you again is not as easy as it was. To make a friend is easy, because to open a new path in a friendship is set based on days onward. But to safe a broken friendship that is due to mislead lies, dishonest, unworthy trust, and hidden agenda will take certainly mounts of efforts to gain them back. Of course if you still want the friendship as it was. But if you do not want it, then probably just better let it go. Better be, a lesson learned in life.
I love myself more than anything, because that is the only way I can love my family, friends, and others. That also will be the virtue I deserves in any relationship.
What it take to be an honest and sincere friend? Does it kill? The answer is no. Honesty and sincerity will make relationship grow so huge that nothing can be compare of. I thought I have it with you my friend. But thank you for at least have let me felt love.
Can I ever forgive him? The answer is still unknown for now. But I can't promise anything until this lie subside and proven otherwise.
It is definitely difficult to believe a great friendship will end this way, Especially when they lied to your face when you trust them the most with your heart?
Will others that are having friendship just the way I have will agreed with my principles? Perhaps so.....
A good friend is never happened only on one side of a friendship. When its is a good friendship, there is no lies involve. I guess some people will never understand this. Because they do not have the same virtue....
That friend doesn't need my forgiveness. It is his choice he made. He have choose to treat a good friend worst than a stranger on the street. That choice doesn't need forgiveness. If he feel guilty about it and would want the forgiveness, then he should changed his choice and understand what it take to be a dear friend. Treat friend with respect, honesty, sincerity and boundless generosity.
Remember this--> to gain a friend is very easy, to gain a trust from a broken friendship is very difficult. If you think the friendship is worth something in your life, fixes it, make the efforts to show you are worth to be trust again.
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