The Mutual Promise

Today the 26th May 2010, I anxiously waiting for your call to reconfirm the time we would meet up.

Even though I know that you never break your promise, but I felt uneasy. I was right from the beginning. My worries were actually valid; you were still considering the appointment we made yesterday. I couldn’t blame you for being in that state of mind. It is very hard to do, but you encourage yourself to faced it. I envy you for what you’ve done today.

Today, or better say it tonight. When I see you with your purple shirt, the favourite jean (my favourite) and the silver shade… all the favourite things I like on you, you appear there at the same place, except I didn’t see the comforting smile. I wish I could run toward you and hug you whole. I guess that is just happening in my mind. I wish I could do that, it shows how much I have missed you for the past few days. But I didn’t even see a sweet natural smile that I saw before…. I know why.

Tears almost flooding my eye lids, I wouldn’t want to show you that scene and spoils everything. I know one step wrong will make thing worse. Therefore, I let the silent moment persist.

There is no sound of our favourite songs. There is no laughter from your notorious havoc… basically today is an empty day, but full of meaning.

I pray for the best… I do not want you to distance yourself too far. It’s enough for me to know that you still care for me. It’s enough for me to spoke out my real mind telling you how much I care for you. It’s not the thirst for a lover love kind of love. But I expressed my love for you is more of care for you. I care for you very much, very very very very much!!! I wish you know how much it is. It doesn’t matter if you care for me the same or less. I just want you to know that I care for you very much. So much that it is not even categorised in any kind of love that I ever knew before. But don’t be mistaken the meaning of this love. It’s not the same kind that we knew all these times. Perhaps I describe it as heavenly love, which I suppose it mean special kind of care.

Now we will walk side by side with the same direction of care for each other. We are more than anything. We are not lover, we are not brother, we are not best friend, but we are something greater than any of those. This “Care” will substitute all the love in any relationship.

Tears begin to flood my eye lids. I guess it is the sense of relief. Now it is purely mutual “care” between us. I don’t know how much, but it is enough. I don’t want anything else; it’s enough to know you have forgiven me.

From now on, promise me, no matter what happened, either whatever we dislike about each other, please be honest toward each other. Perhaps a soul will not complete if the other half doesn’t guide the other.