You missout something

You said it is beautiful thing when you missed me... or it is just my heart that comforting myself, perhaps you meant it otherwise....

I told you that I am in danger, and you only asked one word.... When I call you back this morning, you did not answer... But then later you sent me message and comfort me not to worry...

Does that really waive all your worries...? I do not know. Instead, your friend would have immediately asked me about it.. and he said what have happened?... But don't you want to know what was really happened? Hear it first hand from me? Or perhaps it was not important at all.... I guess, I live or die, you would not know it if you are not interested to hear from me.

You said you can't face it, yet we are just another individual to each other... why can't you face the fact and then still hiding behind that curtain and shield off the real feeling you have? Isn't we supposes to spend it together while we still can and make it the most prettiest moment of our life?

I spent the whole day try to make myself busy... but every second in my conscious mind I thought of you.... No doubt I can move on with my daily life, but what will it bring for me without you to share my happy or sad days? I was in that kind of life before I meet you, the kind of life that nothing is interesting because none to share with..... now I am back to where I came from, turning back to the most boring years in my life.... why you have to take our happiness away and left me alone...?

But it is a day that I learns to be left behind. Today that I learned to remember you from the our songs... Today that I learned living without you is just another day.... breathing but not alive. Perhaps If I still have you in my heart... it could have make big different although it is away half of the universe distances. Your love would make me strong, you smile would lift my heart alive... your words would inspires me...

What else that I could do without you? Life is just another empty shell that looks beautiful after it die. They probably will see the smiles on my face, they probably will see my courage during the days.... but they will never know how much I am struggle to smile, struggle to be brave enough to walk onward...

whatever, wherever, whenever, however... you have miss-out something...you think it too short and do not look it forward.... you are afraid of the direction that you are already stepped your feet in... you are afraid to admit the reality... you are forgetting that the only reason I am still standing strong is because of you. Because, for you I still have hope.