The other half of Lost soul

On 25th May 2010, Tuesday, is the 4th day of revelation. The sun is almost set, I waiting for your call as I was told or even promised by someone else that he will make you call me. I still doubt that will happen in the first place. I look at the sky and see the sun is quarterly above the horizon. My tear inevitably falls, the mind is cocooning and all the sudden this sad feeling hit me. I couldn’t control my tears; I couldn’t imagine what it will be if you will never call me again.

I wonder why this whole tragedy happened in the first place. But I dare not to make serious accusation. The plot is too synchronised and well directed, just the way there were a director directing it… I know it’s not your intention; perhaps there is someone that is doing this… I still couldn’t believe, what have gone wrong. But I’m sure, the director of this whole scene was caused by own doing.. Regardless how much we want to blame others for it, but I suppose I have to blame myself.

On the beach site where we used to spend our spare time, I sat down with a friend. He is a friend that we just knew very recently. Among all, I do not know why I called him and meet him today. But I guess, he will understand how it feels to be missing someone. Perhaps also he doesn’t really know what is going on between you and me, but that is not the matter. I am so innocent that I thought that this dramatic personal matter were just keep among each individual hearts, but it was in fact the other way. I am clueless, but all are aware.

This friend and I were talking mostly. He quietly listens to the whole story. With a very patients heart he only listens, overall being emphatic to what he heard. I trust he could have been stop me but he didn’t. I really appreciate it. Then I know, this friend is honest and sincere. Otherwise, I would be just a laughs.

I was pretty hesitate, worry, wondering if you would not answer my call today. Thank God that you did. It’s like a whole new sunrise at the time I hear you voice, time stood still for a second. My life seems to be brightening even though the sun is setting. I am very grateful. My messed up brain finally put a fuss stop against all the questions mark. Your voice totally changed my tearing heart in a split second when you agreed to meet up tomorrow. I finally can smile again.

Life is moving forward again. I am very grateful I do not loose you entirely. I know that now, I will not risk anything in future. I will do anything to avoid loosing you. My love to you is far beyond anything that anyone could describe. Today I know that this love is not meant to be broken. Today I know that nothing could replace you. I will not risk it to be in the same situation anymore. No even I know why this love that is too great, even greater than me.

I guess it is another half of my heart. Without the other half, I couldn’t have survived this dark period. This love is unknown, not in any category of love that I ever knew. Perhaps it is the soul, oh, perhaps it is the soul!! It’s the other half that was lost all these years.

p/s: Read my blog at http://goldfishinpond.blogspot.com/